Glad to see someone is thinking about this topic, however you have only talked about one side of domestic violence. Have you read this article? There is another side to Domestic Violence Each year, the White Ribbon Day (WRD) campaign asks Australians to support their claim that women and girls are only ever victims of men's and boys' abuse. It is certainly a noble cause to prevent violence, but why focus only on violence against women and girls? Are men and boys any less deserving of protection as victims of abuse? The ABS Safety Survey found 5.8% of females and 10.8% of males, 15 years plus, are subjected to threat of, attempt or alleged physical and sexual abuse each year. A proportion of each is attributable to family/relationship violence. As figures stand more women claim domestic abuse than men, but that is not surprising due to the reluctance of men to admit their wife or girlfriend beats them up. If they do seek assistance - the police often laugh and send them away, or ask "what did you do to make your wife hit you?" The women's domestic violence mantra that a victim should never be blamed obviously does not apply to a mere male in need of protection. In supporting women/girls exclusively, the White Ribbon campaign tells only half the story and lays the blame for all family/relationship violence on men and boys. Domestic violence groups have become notorious for protecting their turf and their funding. Those efforts include a total denial that women are ever violent, yet studies have told us for many years, family/relationship violence is attributable to both genders. One only has to read about the growing number of girls' gangs who launch vicious attacks on both genders, even to the extent of putting the boot in or 'glassing" their opponents; the wife who killed her husband, cooked his flesh and served him up to his children for dinner; or the women who hacked her husband to death with 75 blows from a machete; or the mother who it is believed stuffed her little boy into a suitcase, before throwing him into a lake and leaving him to drown. Mothers, or mother's boyfriends kill more children than do biological fathers. Denying women's violence or excusing it does not help to reduce violence. It does send a strong message to women that they can do what they like and they will most likely get away with their bad behavior. Meanwhile services ignore the need for emergency accommodation for men and their children and fail to provide anger management courses for women and girls. False allegations have flourished in this atmosphere, but there are signs of rebellion. As reported in the Courier Mail (24/11/08), Biggest Loser trainer Shannan Ponton does not intend to let his ex-girlfriend's allegations of verbal and emotional abuse go unchallenged. Channel 10 and the program producers are seeking legal advice on a possible defamation action. Other men have already taken similar action which has resulted in severe criticism of police response and financial compensation from the women who falsely accuse. The White Ribbon Campaign ignores violence against men and boys. The latest report co authored by Michael Flood and Lara Fergus, described as a comprehensive review of other studies, recognizes that physical aggression by both males and females exists but fails to comment further. The tone of the report is manifestly anti male and designed to exaggerate violence against girls, minimise or ignore violence against boys in order to secure funding to run programs in schools and universities to teach young men to respect young women. Flood claims up to half of all young people have seen or heard verbal, emotional or psychological violence used against their mothers, but according to Men's Health Australia spokesman Greg Andresen, he has ignored the level of violence against fathers witnessed by young people which occurs at similar levels to violence against mothers. Dr David Indermaur from the Crime Research Centre WA, found that, of the 70 percent of young people identifying as being in a relationship 37 percent of boys experienced abuse compared to 36 per cent of girls. The same study mentioned "men universally perceive domestic violence to be unacceptable", a view not held by both male and female respondents when asked about a female hitting a male. They are more likely to say a woman is right to or has good reason to, respond to a situation by hitting, than a man in the same situation. The vast majority of fathers raise their sons to never hit a woman and to respect women. Those missing out on these important lessons may be sons raised in single parent families without much contact with their father. How do they learn how a man behaves? In fact how do young woman learn not to abuse young men when their mothers are often full of so much hatred and disrespect for their fathers? The White Ribbon Campaign will do little to prevent violence against women and may cause considerable harm by falsely labelling men and boys as the only perpetrators of family/personal violence. Does an impressionable young man give up trying to be a good person when the expectation is that he will become an abuser? Does an impressionable young woman never try to improve her behaviour because everyone tells her she has a right to use violence? Violence against men, women and children is preventable, providing it is tackled in the right way, not as a one sided issue as occurs now.

i completely agree with this excellent article and admire Ms Poulson tremendously for her approach and persistence in tackling this enormous problem which is unfortunately showing no signs of abating, witness the horrendous cases in the past few months. I believe there are always warning signs. These must be acted upon early on, as "prevention is better than cure" and of course there can be no cure once people have been killed. More focus on counselling and assistance for men would be very valuable too, as they often find it hard or impossible to move on from relationship breakups. Women generally seem to be better at coping with stress and more resilient.

Yes. By having a 'script' to compare an individual's behaviours to, there could be a formal protocol that can be followed, to arrest an individual's descent into madness. The agencies inhibited by a reluctance to 'get it wrong' may be more proactive if they can demonstrate an adherence to 'guidelines' when acting. I just hope we don't get bogged down in short-sighted nit-picking about grammar and gender-non-specific language. I hope that we don't lose our way in a mire of appeasing politically correct concerns over ascribing domestic violence only to men. I hope that vociferous complaints about infringing the human rights of those identified according to the the 'script' do not stall, and terminate, the development of such a useful protective tool. I hope (against hope) that such a 'script' can be ushered in within six months; just in time for the increase in domestic violence - statistically supported as occuring at and around Christmas time - due for Christmas 2009.

Ms. Poulson, i'm so sorry what you had to go thru. Me and my son were domestic victims long ago, fortunately, we had a happier outcome than many others. I think the only answer is that females need to learn how to arm themselves in order to protect themselves. Restraining orders offer no good for a crazed person. I would really like to become involved with the fight against domestic abuse. There are too many deaths on a weekly basis.

Better family support services for men and women. The former is sadly lacking - its not that men aren't resilient or can't cope with stress - appropriate support services aren't available for them.

One of the major issues facing victims of domestic violence is the reality that the community generally does not have any objection to this practice. A woman finally finding the courage after many years to leave such a man may find that most of her friends also desert her and instead support the perpetrator. It is a very difficult time and she needs the love and support of lifelong friends who promptly dump her. This is the community at work bolstering the efforts of those who seek to terrorise their partner and even rewarding them. We need to look closely at ourselves and consider what our actions say about us and our abhorrent attitudes. If we really believe that leaving one's husband after many years of fear and abuse deserves punishment then we are truly less than human.

I guess you are not interested in acknowledging that there are two sides to the tragedy and that the side you are choosing to ignore is often in more pain and suffering.

The Police should not interfere with domestic violence.

Glen, you need to get real. Of course men are victims of violence, more often than not from other men. So stop it you lot and grow up! The reality is that far more women live in fear of their male partner than vice versa. The socialisation of men is such that they are the more violent gender and that is self-evident. Even the most gentle men I know admit that. In addition, men have more power in every facet of society and therefore are better placed to remove themselves from a difficult situation. I'm sure there are violent women, but also remember we are generally smaller and weaker, so you still have the advantage. How dare you attempt to hijack this issue. It is attitudes like this that continue to blur the plain and simple fact that so many women have to fear their intimate male partner more than any other person in the world. Until people like yourself rise from ignorance and denial there is no hope for our community. I think as women we need to accept that we can never be safe in this community while these attitudes exist. I truly give up on humanity when these misguided diatribes try to dilute the urgency of this issue. If women called the police to their male partners every time it was warranted, the police would never do anything else. Most women never do this, even when severely injured, so if you think you have statistics on this you haven't even scratched the surface. If you want to start a campaign about violence against men go right ahead, but it has nothing to do with White Ribbon Day. Both of you should start a separate campaign and good luck. By the way, you're right. Given my experiences I am absolutely not interested in the 'tragedy' of the perpetrator. Further, 'concerned' if the police don't come and take him away when he has broken her jaw and is now threatening her with a knife who do you suggest should intervene, or should she just get a gun?

Yes there are two sides to the story and unfortunately females sit high on the agenda as victims of domestic abuse. When are the offenders whether it be male or female going to take responsibility for their actions or inactions regarding domestic abuse. Yes there needs to be more available for the male victims as well. The sex of a person should not determin what should be available for them. But what is available for females has come out of a lot of hard word putting it in place and an unfortunate need to have them there. Stop blaming the world for what has happened and start taking responsibility for your part in it.