Glenrowan resident Kelly Scott felt overwhelmed earlier this year when doctors told her that her soon-to-be-born son would have Down syndrome.
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She started researching the disease as much as she could, worrying about how her life would change and how she could access government funding.
However, Mrs Scott discovered a sense of comfort and support by attending local carer meetings with parents in the same situation as herself.
"The carer groups are absolutely essential, in my opinion, because it is very isolating whether you're a new mum of a normal baby or a baby that has needs," she said.
"It meant that when Hank arrived, I didn't feel so overwhelmed when things weren't as they should have been.
"They're just like any other baby: look after them, and they'll give you heaps of love in return."
![Heather Edmondscone of Wangaratta, who cares for her husband with dementia, and Kelly Scott, of Glenrowan, who cares for her son Hank, five months, both forged new friendships at the annual Carers Week luncheon. Picture by Mark Jesser Heather Edmondscone of Wangaratta, who cares for her husband with dementia, and Kelly Scott, of Glenrowan, who cares for her son Hank, five months, both forged new friendships at the annual Carers Week luncheon. Picture by Mark Jesser](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/205593064/dca16d1a-9ba3-45d3-a866-c2e643c58487.jpg/r0_0_5568_3328_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
Mrs Scott was one of about 80 full-time carers who attended the annual Carers Week luncheon at the Commercial Club in Albury on Thursday, October 26.
The Border Carers Reference Group, a consortium of cross-border organisations providing support for carers, organised the event which is held each year in celebration of National Carers Week (October 15-21).
Event co-ordinator Vickie Priscina said the lunch was about creating "an environment of peer support".
"Carers sometimes get to the point where they feel like they can't talk to their friends anymore; they feel like their friends are tired of hearing about it," she said.
"When you care for somebody you may not fit into a regular social group, whereas coming to a group like this, everybody can empathise with what might be happening in your life, and you feel like you can talk about it."
Mrs Priscina became a full-time carer when her son, now 31, was born with a disability that restricted his physical mobility.
"One thing the general public may not realise, and it's tough to understand until you've experienced it, is the grief," she said.
"For me, having a child that couldn't do all the things physically that he wanted to do, who now has other issues that prevent him from having the career that he wants, is heartbreaking.
"Daily, I deal with emotions - I deal with the loss of a future for my son."
Upper Murray Family Care support practitioner Brooke Boede said events like the luncheon encouraged carers to do something for themselves and break free from the "pattern of always putting someone else before them".
"Carers are more disadvantaged than the general population in terms of their wellbeing, finances, and opportunity for study and work," she said.
"That's because of the commitment they make as carers, and that's something I don't think a lot of people understand - they have to give up things everyone takes for granted."
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Many of the caregivers Mrs Boede supports are older people caring for spouses with dementia.
"It brings about a completely different type of loss," she said.
"We have couples who have been together 60 years, and then suddenly their life changes because the person with dementia completely changes who they are - the entire dynamic of the relationship shifts.
"It's a loss without death - the loss of a future - and that is especially hard."
Heather Edmondscone, of Wangaratta, knows the pain too well.
She became a full-time carer five years ago when her husband, Kevin, was diagnosed with dementia.
"I can't leave him alone now because, even when I just go to the bathroom, he looks for me," she said.
"He doesn't talk much now, and when he does, he can't find the words to say what he's trying to say.
"It can be hard, and some days I can barely cope, but I still love him."
Mrs Edmondscone finds solace in carer groups. She even forged a new friendship at the luncheon with someone whose husband, like her own, was diagnosed with dementia five years ago.
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